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'Good' Kids Don't Have Tantrums, Right?

Updated: Oct 21, 2022

Wrong. Tantrums are NORMAL. Nearly all children have them and they don't make your child manipulative or spoilt or naughty.


✨To know that big feelings are okay.

✨To be helped to learn how to handle the situation.


❌Massive lectures mid tantrum.

❌To be ignored.

❌To be punished.


1️⃣Stay calm - breathe, it’s not your ‘fault’. Try not to feel embarrassed. It’s not your job to ‘control’ your child.

2️⃣Empathise - see the world from their point of view. It’s hard being little. Even your eldest child is still a child.

3️⃣Listen - what are they saying? Things that we see as little or insignificant are massive to them.

4️⃣Reassure - use soothing words, clear language. ‘You’re feeling sad that we have to leave the park. It’s hard to leave fun things. We can go back to the park tomorrow.’ ‘You’re feeling angry. It’s okay to feel angry. It’s not okay to hit.’

5️⃣Touch - if they like it - hug/stroke.

6️⃣Give choices - people often make light of children crying over the ‘wrong’ colour cup. If it’s possible, why can’t they choose?

7️⃣Calm kit - sometimes they just need to ride out their feelings. Is there a special place they can do this? Or special resources you could carry with you?

8️⃣Be consistent - some things are non negotiable like brushing teeth or wearing a helmet when riding a bike. Teach your child that these things keep them safe and healthy.

9️⃣Redirect - once you have regrouped, redirect their attention.

🔟Reflect - sometimes it’s helpful to identify what has triggered the tantrum. Sometimes you just have to remember they’re normal and won’t last forever.

📣AGREE/DISAGREE? Comment below and let me know.

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